secret
by collegegirl2805
Summary: Ryan's keeping a horrible secret and it's tearing him apart. Sandy and Kirsten are too busy working, Seth's in his own world that revolves around comics and Summer. What happens when the secret is revealed? Will the family come together or be torn apart? Ryan and Seth are fourteen in this fan fiction.
1. Chapter 1

The O.C.

Summary: Ryan's keeping a horrible secret and it's tearing him apart. Sandy and Kirsten are too busy working, Seth's in his own world that revolves around comics and Summer. What happens when the secret is revealed? Will the family come together or be torn apart? Ryan and Seth are fourteen in this fan fiction.

Disclaimer: I don't own the O.C. or any of its characters. I know…I didn't believe it when I heard either, but sadly it's true

Prolong

Walking into the Cohen's kitchen Ryan kept his head down. His heart was filled with fear and he forced himself to take deep long breaths. Nobody knew his secret Ryan was sure, but that didn't stop him from feeling dirty, from feeling like the truth was plastered all over his face.

Two month…it had been two months since his life had turned into a living hell. At first, he was shocked when he woke up in the mornings, walking around during the day, watched the other people around him, and everything still seemed so normal. Too bad for him nothing would ever been normal again.

He tried to keep his head down and tried to pretend like he was his normal self…like nothing was horribly wrong. He was doing well in school, he knew he had to do well. Dr. Kim had warned him he couldn't let his grades slip and he didn't want to let the Cohen's down…they had so much faith in him. He kept trying to fix a smile on his face as he listened to Seth babble, listen to Marissa wine, and listen to Luke talking about sports and girls.

He thought for the most part no body noticed, but lately…Luke seemed to be watching him. Luke kept on asking Ryan if he was okay. That was a stupid question, he thought to himself. He was anything but okay. Everyday he felt like more and more of his world was crumbling.

He sometimes thought about telling the Cohen's, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Sandy was so busy with his work with more and more cases pilling on his desk. Kirsten was busy at the New Port Group, he couldn't bother her, though he was pretty sure he would never be able to tell her anyway. Seth…the thought of telling Seth made Ryan feel physically ill.

No he couldn't tell the Cohen's, and He had told Ryan that if Ryan told anyone that no one would believe him and that He would make sure Ryan got sent back to Juvie. Ryan knew he couldn't go back there, he wouldn't be able to take the Cohen's disappointment.

That left Ryan trying to grin and bare it. But Luke seemed to be getting more and more suspicious. Ever since Seth finally started dating Summer, Ryan and Luke had become really close. It was weird being best friends with a guy who used to hate his guts. Over the past few months though, Ryan had been trying to push Luke away. He knew he couldn't let Luke get too close, he couldn't let Luke find out the secret; the secret that had him scrubbing himself clean for hours every night.

Luke was persistent though and he was making other people worry too. Now Marissa and Summer were asking questions too. Marissa wanted to know why Ryan wouldn't kiss her anymore, and Summer kept asking him why he never wanted to go to the beach anymore.

He didn't know what to say and ever day he felt more and more trapped. Trapped by the secret, the horrible secret he didn't want anyone to know about, the secret that was eating him alive.

* * *

Luke's POV

Something was wrong with Ryan and Luke was determined to find out what was going on. He had hated Ryan the first time he had met him. Luke had thought Ryan was nothing but a street thug that had been hitting on his girlfriends. But that was before…that was before Luke had really gotten to know Ryan.

Ryan was the most loyal person Luke had ever met. It had been Ryan who had come swooping to Luke's rescue when he had found out his father was gay. While the people Luke had thought were his friends laughed in his face and thrown him to the curb Ryan, the same person he had treated like dirt, had talked to him had been there for him.

That was why Luke knew he had to help Ryan now. Something was seriously wrong. Luke had gotten to know Ryan, he knew Ryan tried to bottle up his problems and hide them away. That didn't stop Luke from seeing. Luke saw Ryan's blue eyes grow dull over the past couple of months. He had noticed the sweatshirts and the baggy pants. He had noticed the way Ryan had begun to withdraw even more into himself; he had started to avoid Marissa and he barely spoke anymore.

Luke had spoken to Marissa, Seth, and Summer and they had begun to notice how Ryan was changing too. Luke found himself watching Ryan more and more. He had even begun following him around when he could, but Luke couldn't seem to find out what was wrong. Why couldn't he see…what was he missing?


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own the O.C. or any of it's characters...one day though...one day I just might :)

Chapter 1

Ryan's POV

Monday… it was Monday and all Ryan wanted to do was run back into his pool house and curl up into a ball. He knew he couldn't do that though; he had to keep his head up. Ryan had watched his mother, hand watched as the depression, drinking, and drugs had taken her from him. He never did drugs, he never drank, and he wasn't going to let the depression take him.

He was going to keep his head up, keep it up until the world didn't seem so horrible anymore. He could do that…for just a little longer he could do it.

As he entered the kitchen, he prepared himself to begin. He let his fake self take over and let all of the horrible memories and pain dissolve into the background. He allowed himself to become the person that Seth saw, he became Chino Kid, the strong and fearless Chino kid, that was him.

"Good morning sleepy head," Sandy greeted with a smile and a ruffle of Ryan's hair. Ryan tried not to shiver at the contact, he had always hated being touched, but now he loathed it. 'Remember,' Ryan told himself, 'you're Chino kid…you can do this.'

"Morning Sandy," Ryan replied barely above a whispered, and immediately found himself making his way to the coffeemaker, his savior, and poured himself a cup, as he tried to keep his face neutral.

"Ryan," Kirsten sighed, "I swear…no coffee unless you eat something. You're too skinny…it's not healthy."

'Smile,' Ryan reminded himself, and he did or at least made an attempt to as he nodded and reached for a bagel. He had stopped eating the past few months, he had lost his appetite, and now even the thought of food made him nauseous. He took a swig of the hot steamy coffee and then began to nibble on the bagel before him.

"Dude mom's right. If you want to keep up the image of Ryan the badass you can't be getting to skinny. Now as for myself, I believe the image works for me and, between you and me, I think Summer totally digs it," Ryan sighed, it would seem it was never too early for Seth and his babbling.

"I'll keep that in mind," Ryan replied, taking a seat at the kitchen counter as he continued to dissect his bagel.

"Kiki," came a booming male voice. In response Sandy let out a heavy sigh.

"Doesn't even knock anymore. I swear Kirsten, there's nothing stopping that man from coming and killing me in my sleep," Sandy mock whispered, though Ryan was pretty sure Sandy was purposely speaking loud enough for Caleb to hear him.

Over the past couple of months, Ryan had been surprised to find that the only good thing that had happened to him was that Caleb had stopped hating him. Ryan wasn't sure why. It was a little unnerving, one second the man hated him and the next he was asking Ryan out for lunch. He had tried asking Kirsten, but she had been just as surprised by her father's sudden change. Caleb had gone from being cold and threatening to well…someone who was still cold and threatening, but let so. Ryan had actually started to like Caleb, he actually liked Caleb's honest no bullshit attitude.

"I heard that Sanford," Caleb growled from the kitchen doorway. Despite Caleb's sudden change he still had a mutual hatred for Sandy. "Ryan, Seth are you boys ready?" Caleb asked as he allowed his piercing eyes to roam over the boys. Ryan could tell Caleb wasn't too happy when he saw Seth with his uncombed hair, no shoes, and backpack nowhere to be found.

"Umm…" Seth gave his grandpa one of his apologetic, yet goofy smiles. "Sure grandpa, just give me a second," Seth quickly leaped to his feet and made his way back upstairs.

Ryan watched Seth as he went, he would have smiled, but he couldn't…he hadn't really smiled in months, not since…

"Ryan?" Ryan forced his head up and his eyes to meet Caleb's eyes. "How are you feeling… you look—"

"I…I'm fine…just tired I guess…" Ryan cursed himself, as he stammered over the words, finding himself unable t keep eye contact with Caleb. He wished people would stop asking him how he felt. He knew the answer wouldn't change not until He left Ryan alone, but Ryan still had four years left, until then he was stuck…trapped.

Ryan could still feel Caleb's gaze on him, and he tried hard to fain interest in his bagel. He sighed in relief when he heard the sound of Seth's feet as he clambered down the stairs. "I'm ready," Seth sang as he appeared at the kitchen doorway, his dark curls a little less unruly and with shoes on his feet.

"I think that's a record Seth," Sandy smiled, "now get moving before you make Ryan and Caleb late." Ryan allowed his lip to curve into a halfhearted smile, and allowed Sandy and Kirsten to hug in goodbye, hoping they didn't notice his shivers. Today would be a long day he knew, he had soccer practice today, and that meant Ryan would have to see…Him.

Luke's POV

Luke had to admit it…he was officially Ryan's stalker. In the past week he hadn't found anything and it was driving him crazy. He knew something was going on, so he decided today was the day he would take his stalking to a whole new level.

He had managed to get hold of a copy of Ryan's schedule…the girl who volunteered in the office…Mindy…Mandy or whatever had given it to him after a few minutes of flirting. He felt a little guilty using her, but he had to. He had grown desperate watching, as Ryan seemed to fade more and more everyday.

Next he had garnered Summer's support. She had been a little hesitant and more than a little creeped out by his obsession with Ryan's welfare, but finally, after a lot of begging and pleading, he had got her to agree.

Today, no matter what, either he or Summer would be with Ryan. Summer would be with Ryan for AP Math, AP English, and AP History; who knew Summer had a brain. And Luke would be with Ryan for Science and AP Spanish; he thanked god everyday for his old nanny from Spain. And then he would be there again for soccer. The plan was set and Luke had his game face on.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own the o.c. or any of it's characters

Chapter 2

Luke's POV

Luke couldn't understand…he and Summer had followed Ryan around all day and nothing. He felt ready to hit something…no way was his friend acting like a total loner for no good reason. There had to be something, he found himself sighing heavily as he changed into his soccer uniform, thankful for something to do that might felt dissipate some of his irritation.

Looking at Ryan from the corner of his eye, Luke noticed Ryan looked pale and he was shaking…god, he knew something was going on! What the f*** was making Ryan act this way? Luke just didn't understand.

That was it, Luke decided if he didn't find out soon he would just confront Ryan. There would be no more mister nice guy either; he would freaking pummel Ryan until he started talking. Yeah, he told himself, liking the idea more and more, as he thought about it. Of course he didn't want to hurt Ryan, but if that's what it would take then he'd do it.

Practice was brutal, the coach been a drill sergeant the entire time. He had yelled at them nonstop, made them do more sprints than Luke could count, and had them to well over two hundred pushups. Now Luke was fit, but the coach had taken it to a whole new level. A couple kids had even puked on the field. Ryan looked ready to keel over.

"Okay," the coach finally yelled, "clearly you boys have some work to do. We have a tournament next week so you all better have your sh*t together by then," the coach sighed, and glared around at all the boys, clapping Ryan on the back he barked, "hit the showers!"

Luke almost cheered at those words, but something stopped him. He found himself looking over at Ryan. All the other boys were hastily making their way to the locker room, but Ryan was still standing there with the coach's hand clamped tightly around his shoulder.

'That's weird,' Luke thought, getting a sick feeling in the bottom of his stomach. He tried to think back to other soccer practices over the past couple of months and realized there was a pattern. In almost every practice Ryan had stayed behind…with the coach. Luke wasn't sure what to do. He knew there was a good chance he had finally found the reason Ryan had been acting so off over the past few month, but what was he supposed to do about it?

One thing was for sure; he wasn't going to leave Ryan alone with the coach. The way he had seen the coach looking at Ryan and touching him…he couldn't believe he had only just noticed, but something about it felt really wrong.

He slowly made his way back to the locker room, trying to think of a solution. Then something came back to him…it was something Caleb Nichol had said to him. It had been the one time Caleb had ever really spoken to Luke, and he had been honestly surprised the man had even known his name.

Caleb had cornered Luke a couple weeks ago at some Newpsie event. Come to think of it, it had been Caleb's words that had made Luke start to notice just how weird Ryan was acting.

Caleb had greeted Luke formally and gotten straight to the point. He had asked Luke to watch out for Ryan. At first Luke thought Caleb meant he should watch out for Ryan making any trouble; he had even gone as far as to give Luke his private number. He knew that when Ryan had first arrived Caleb had hated him. But then Caleb said he was worried about Ryan, which was odd because, quite frankly, Luke had heard a lot of people say that Caleb Nichol wasn't capable of emotions. He had been lost for words and was thankful when Caleb left him, but the words had stuck with him, and he had kept Caleb's number.

He found himself at his locker, dialing Caleb's number. He didn't know what he was doing, but he knew he had to do something. He just knew something was wrong with the coach and Ryan, but he didn't know what to do about it.

"Hello," came a cold voice from the other end of the line.

Luke paused to take a breath, unsure of what to say, "Hi, it's Luke Ward—"

"What's happened?" Caleb asked instantly, with an impatient nonsense tone. Luke looked around the locker room and walked over to a relatively secluded spot by the old gym equipment where he hoped no one could hear him.

"Umm…I…I did what you asked. I've been looking out for Ryan. You're right he's been acting really weird lately. I've been following him trying to figure out what's wrong…I…I think it has something to do with coach…I mean Mr. Ander's. I didn't realize before, but he…something isn't right…the coach is always making Ryan stay late after practice and he keeps looking at Ryan and touching him…I didn't really notice before, but the…the way he looks at him…it's wrong…"

"Okay boy, calm down. I need you to make sure that man isn't alone with my grandson. I'm on my way now. I don't care what you do, under no circumstances should you leave Ryan alone. Understand?"

"I…I don't…maybe I'm wrong…maybe it's nothing…I don't want Ry to be mad at me…he's already pissed with me—"

"Mr. Ward, I know something is wrong with Ryan. I'm not willing to take any chances. I'm coming to get Ryan, if something's going on…I'll be there in ten minutes."

Ryan's POV

Ryan thought he might faint. He knew the coach was doing this on purpose, working the team so hard. He had been complaining that Ryan was getting weak… that he needed to bulk up. That was probably one of the reasons why Ryan found himself unable to eat these days. The last thing he wanted to do was listen to the coach, the slimy pervert. Ryan hated the man; he hated the coach so much he would probably dance over the man's grave.

At the end of practice, like always he felt a hand on his shoulder, and like always he found himself standing alone with the coach as the rest of the team made their way back to the locker room. The first few times Ryan had tried to fight against the hand on his shoulder, but the coach was strong and he would just leer at Ryan.

"I've missed you," Coach whispered in Ryan's ear, when they were finally left alone on the field. Ryan felt like a waterfall of ice water was running down his spin, as he felt the coach's breath on his neck. He was so close… too close. Ryan shut his eyes trying to pretend he was anywhere else. At home with Seth, hanging out with Kirsten and Sandy, or listening to music with Marissa.

"I know I made you work today, but you need to bulk up," the coach said as he stroked Ryan's back. "Can't have my boy getting weak on me," the coach continued as he caressed Ryan's cheek.

Ryan looked down at his cleats, down at the muddy grass, anywhere but at the coach. "You're so beautiful Ryan," the coach cooed, as his hands made their way under Ryan's shirt. 'I'm not here, I'm not here," Ryan chanted to himself, as he forced down tears.

"Ryan!" the coach immediately dropped his hands and attempted to look causal, as Luke, god Luke, came running back to the field.

Ryan felt his face burning and prayed Luke hadn't seen anything, didn't suspect anything, Ryan could just imagine how disgusted Luke would be if he knew…if he knew Ryan's secret.

In the beginning, Ryan had thought about telling had even threatened the coach, saying he would if he didn't stop. The coach just laughed, telling Ryan no body would believe him and that he'd make sure Ryan ended up back in Juvie. That had shut Ryan up, he knew he couldn't go back to Juvie, couldn't face Sandy or Kirsten's disappointment.

Luke's POV

Luke wasn't sure what to do, but he had to find a way to do what Caleb had said. He had to get Ryan away from the coach. He found himself running back to the field when he stopped dead. There standing in front of him was the coach with his hands inside Ryan's shirt and Ryan looking near tears.

Luke thought he might throw up, he couldn't believe it…the coach was a fricking perv. He wasn't sure what made him do it, but he found himself gripping his phone tight as he snapped pictures of the two, while bile rose in his throat.

Putting his phone back in his pocket Luke called out to Ryan, as loud as he could and watched as the coach made a hasty retreat away from Ryan. 'Too late you freak,' Luke thought to himself disgusted. He tried to keep his face carefully masked as he walked up to the two, having to make a conscious effort not to hit the man he had once thought of as a role model.

"Hey Ryan," Luke said, panting, "dude, my mom's giving you a ride tonight. Sandy and Kirsten said they don't want you riding you're bike…she's already here…come on you'll have to change at home." Before Ryan had time to respond, Luke grabbed Ryan's hand and began pulling him forward, and away from the coach. "Sorry coach, see you later," Luke called back to the disgusting freak. He held his breath, as he all but ran with Ryan towards the parking lot.

"I…I have to get my stuff," Ryan muttered, barely audible.

"No," Luke replied simply. There was no way in hell Luke was going to let Ryan go back to the locker room, not when the coach would be so close.

"Luke—" Ryan tried.

"I saw," Luke stated, as he continued to pull Ryan forward. He couldn't bring himself to look at Ryan right now, not when every time he closed his eyes he was seeing images of the coach's hands up Ryan's shirt.

Ryan tried to stop, but Luke kept hauling him on. He wanted to get as far away from the coach as he possibly could. He only stopped when they had made it to the parking lot. And then he finally turned to face a white faced Ryan, "what are you going to do?" Ryan whispered as he looked down at the ground, tears in his eyes. That was a good question…


	4. Chapter 4

Author's note: this is a serious topic and one that I don't take lightly. Everyday children are abused in a world that is supposed to protect them. If you see anything suspicious you need to tell somebody! I hope you like the story, remember all reviews are welcome and appreciated and if you really like the story you can follow or favorite it

Disclaimer: I don't own The O.C. though I have a friend whose friend say he can hook me up

Chapter 3

Luke's POV

Luke found himself pacing around as Ryan sat quietly on the sidewalk with his face in his hands, not looking at Luke.

Luke could feel a fury building up in him. He suddenly wanted to go back and beat the sh#t out of the coach. Looking down at his hands he found he was shaking and he couldn't seem to make himself stop. Where was Caleb? He couldn't deal with this on his own…he needed an adult to tell him what to do, and even though he might not like Caleb, Luke knew that Caleb would help, he would know what to do.

A car…he could see headlights, and then a Lamborghini came cruising towards him. 'Oh please be Caleb,' Luke thought to himself.

"Ryan…" that was Caleb's voice alright. The older man, jumped out of the car and made his way to Ryan, who still refused to look up. Though Luke noticed Ryan tense at the older man's voice. Luke was shocked by the emotion present in Caleb's voice and face, there was worry etched all over him.

When Caleb spotted Ryan he knelt down and waited patiently for Ryan to look up.

Ryan's POV

When Ryan heard Caleb's voice he thought he was going to be sick. What was Caleb doing here? He couldn't bring himself to face Caleb, who for the last few months had been the only grown up who was there for him. It was weird how he had gone from hating the old man to having a better relationship with him than he did with Sandy or Kirsten.

After a few minutes, Ryan finally removed him hands from his face to look up. He found Caleb's concerned face looking back at him.

"Ryan…I…I want you to come with me now son." Ryan didn't want to, he wanted to find somewhere to curl up and die. He just wanted this nightmare to be over, and he was just so…tired. Slowly he nodded and got to his feet, he knew he didn't really have a choice and the further he was from the coach, who he was sure would be furious now, the better.

Caleb helped him into the car and he sat there while Caleb said something to Luke and then got into the drivers seat. "W-where are we going?" Ryan asked quietly.

"Kid…I think it's time we stopped pretending… I've known something's been wrong for a while…I had no idea…What that man had been doing to you…" Caleb took a deep breath. "That disgusting monster will never hurt you again do you understand?"

Ryan was confused…Caleb knew? How did he know? Ryan felt ashamed and dirty and found himself looking down at his cleats. "He…he said no one would believe me…he said he'd send me to Juvie…I don't want to go back to Juvie…I…I didn't want him to…to do it…"

Ryan heard Caleb take a deep breath. "I believe you and you did nothing wrong…"

"Where are we going?" Ryan asked again.

"The hospital…I'll call the police on the way—"

Ryan was petrified, his eyes shot up to stare at Caleb, "the police!" he squeaked. He had learned a long time ago that the police were not his friends, they were the once who had always turned a blind eye to AJ and all his mother's other boyfriends when they hit Ryan and Trey, they were the reason that Trey was in jail, and they had never given a cr*p about him before. "I don't want—" Ryan tried, but Caleb immediately stopped him.

"Ryan," he barked, then he took a breath, obviously trying to collect himself, "that man is going to pay for what he did. I spoke to Luke…he said he thought that man was the reason you were acting strangely and then he saw… he saw him with his hand up your shirt…" Caleb looked like he might be physically ill when he spoke those words, the words that sent a shiver down Ryan's back…if only that was the worst thing Mr. Anders had done to Ryan.

Caleb came to abrupt stop in front of a red light and turned to face Ryan, "look me in the eyes…Ryan look at me…" Ryan looked up at Caleb, "tell me…don't lie to me…did he hurt you?" Caleb looked pained just asking the question.

Ryan opened his mouth and tried to deny…tried to lie…tried to tell Caleb no, but he couldn't. Tears formed in his eyes as he gave Caleb a jerky nod of confirmation.

"Did he…did he rape you?" his barely controlled rage was poorly concealed on Caleb's face, his eyes were like twin icebergs and his mouth was set in a tight lipped line, while his hands that were gripping the steering wheel were white knuckled. Ryan…looked down, as the tears he had been trying to shove down deep inside himself came bursting out. "Ryan…please, I need you to say it," Caleb whispered.

"Yes," Ryan whispered the word. That was all it took, one word and finally the burden he'd been carrying for months was unloaded. Yes, it was so simple, one syllable, but saying that one word was the hardest thing he'd ever done.

Caleb's POV

Caleb clutched tightly onto the car's steering wheel. He was so angry, he felt as if an inferno was building up inside him. He wasn't sure what was stopping him from finding the sick bas*ard who had hurt Ryan and killing him. He kept telling himself over and over again that death was too good for that man. He was going to make sure that the man's fate would be worse than death. He would suffer for what he did, Caleb would make sure of it.

While Caleb felt anger towards the man, who had hurt Ryan, he also felt anger towards himself, as he turned back to stare out at the deserted street, driving once more. Caleb had foolishly disliked Ryan when he had first come to stay with Kirsten and Sandy, he had believed that Ryan was just some street hoodlum trying to steal from his naïve daughter. He wasn't sure when exactly he had changed his mind or what the cause was, but he had started paying more attention to Ryan when he noticed the spark in Ryan's eyes, the fight that had made him so strong, slowly dying. He had watched as Kiki and Sandy shirked their responsibilities as parents, and had decided to step in. He hadn't known he would become so attached to Ryan, but now he loved Ryan like a son, and he felt sick with himself for not having done something more for the kid. He should have know, should have stopped it before.


End file.
